This page was first put together as a result of my own experiences in the early days of dealing with agencies involved in the care of my handicapped child. I found amongst these so called 'professionals' some of the coldest, high-handed and insensitive people I have ever met. I would like to think that things have improved since then. Anyway, what you will find here is a mixture of sound advice (!) and some famous lines that will help reduce your stress levels and ensure you maintain a positive outlook on life. Remember.... whenever you feel that your losing it - keep your sanity by letting off steam here.......

Just scroll down, focus.... and click.....

	FILE DESCRIPTION	WAV	REAL AUDIO
	Use this one when they try to fob you off with inadequate provision.	29 kb	6 kb
	Here's a great introductory line.......	23 kb	5 kb
	When they try to impress you with big words - use this.....	32 kb	7 kb
	Here's a great one from Steve Martin to use...	81 kb	15 kb
	An excellent line to use when dealing with the ageing hippy types... err hey - that's me...	61 kb	12 kb
	When violence seems the only answer.....	50 kb	13 kb
	When the person you're dealing with has obviously just been headhunted from the mafia...	23 kb	5 kb
	OK Clint - got any thoughts on how I should approach my next meeting with the LEA?	41 kb	4 kb
	For when the authorities tell you that your child is lucky and that you should be grateful...	28 kb	3 kb
	Use this one to break the ice...	19 kb	4 kb
	Daffy Duck gets cross...	24 kb	5 kb
	For when they try to intimidate you.....	45 kb	9 kb
	This threat might make all the difference.... but then again, maybe not.	42 kb	8 kb
	When they start being rude.... "Hey why don't you be polite....."	39 kb	8 kb
	Use this one when they tell you that they are currently organising a financial review of their services.	26 kb	5 kb
	Use this one when they tell you that they are in the middle of a cost-cutting exercise.	23 kb	5 kb
	For when you've just had enough of their feeble excuses.	20 kb	4 kb
	When they just don't get it... here's what to say.	79 kb	15 kb
	Perhaps a little bit over the top .... save this one for when you leave.	100 kb	19 kb
	Here's a greeting.....	26 kb	5 kb
	... and here's one to end with.	124 kb	23 kb
	Be careful with this accusation.	17 kb	N/A
	When they won't let you get a word in edgeways....	26 kb	5 kb
	Dedicated to all overweight, so called 'professionals' with an attitude problem....	38 kb	4 kb
	When they just seem to ignore you and talk amongst themselves....	43 kb	8 kb
	How to deal politely with situations where they won't let you get in a word in edgeways.....	52 kb	10 kb
	When they tell you that they know what's best for your child.....	75 kb	7 kb
	The best way to save on next year's tax bill...	128 kb	12 kb
	Hasta la vista baby!!!	90 kb	17 kb
	I think I could scream!!!	21 kb	N/A
	Make My Day	34 kb	7 kb
	You make me sick!	74 kb	7 kb
	You are one pathetic loser!	45 kb	9 kb
	Cut it oouuuut!!!	31 kb	N/A
	You bloodsucking hell fiend!!!	46 kb	N/A
	here's a line that will wake them up...	69 kb	13 kb
	I'll be back!	10 kb	2 kb
	If elected mayor.... (dedicated to my local County Council Education Service)	22 kb	N/A
	Donald Duck as you've never heard him before!	40 kb	8 kb
	"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!"	41 kb	8 kb

If you're feeling better now, try visiting my Plain Funny Page for some more fun sounds.

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